Can We Talk? Plan B for Romantics

I know a minister and his wife (NOT pictured here) who struck an agreement early in their long marriage: they would be faithful unless, wait for it... she got lucky with Paul Newman and/or he got lucky with Sophia Loren. They're definitely one of the coolest couples I've ever met.

Successful chance encounters with Newman or Loren not withstanding, with people living for eight or nine decades or even longer, successfully choosing, adapting to, and sticking with one person for all time is a pretty tall order. Certainly the Fishers of North Carolina (shown below), who have been married for 85 years and hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of a living couple, are the exception, not the rule.

 Zelmyra is 101 years old; Herbert is 104.

Okay, so I don't have the exact numbers, but I hazard to say that many many many people who are part of a couple one day find themselves chugging into the future uncoupled--for any number of reasons. And we know this is a possibility going in, right? Which leads to that awkward question that we usually entertain only in the deepest recesses of our brains: if once again cast into singleness . . . hmmm. Well, there's where Plan B comes in, cold and inert on the back burner, but let's face it, you can't unring a bell, even a silent, guilty one that reverberates IYHO (in your head only).

So let's see, maybe you'd consider getting in touch with that old boyfriend/girlfriend from college that you see via Facebook is also a free agent.

Or reaching out to that interesting person at the gym who keeps making eye contact in the mirror in front of the ellipticals and doesn't seem to sweat much but still conscientiously wipes down the equipment for the next user.

Or maybe your heart goes out to the misunderstood spouse of someone you secretly know is cheating, and in the event you found yourself single again you could keep tabs on the cheater to watch for an opening.

But here's another interesting thing about all this longevity: it's possible that your Plan B will have already moved on to his or her Plan B. And then what? Plan C?

Of course, it's possible that you might decide to attempt that singing career you once dreamed about, get a makeover and opt for a promiscuous phase, or tour the world on a tramp steamer.

But true romantics will most likely be looking for that next hand to hold while edging ever closer to the great unknown. You can pretty much plan on it.

May I recommend Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift From the Sea, in which she writes, "Intermittancy, an impossible lesson for human beings."

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